So, the attritional count of removing a battery from an E61 BMW reads thus…. 20 minutes examination under the bonnet to find that my car was either magic or had a battery secreted somewhere else….. In the boot as it happens, shame…. I’ve always wanted to go to Hogwarts.
Anyway I digress, on with the attrition….. I cover panel, 2 screws, I fastening bar 2 bolts the awkwardness for which no wrench has ever been designed… 1 lost bolt due to said awkwardness, later recovered. 2 ‘flip-open’ covers and I use the word advisedly as I had to wrestle the f****s open to expose 3 bolts which came off with ease (surely some mistake?). oodles of wires…..1 odd little lever type stabilising device and then 1 extra long bolt to hold battery stable in a compartment where to be frank its not really going to go very far!!
I still have a VW Passat and removing the battery is a simple 3 nut job, 4 if you include me…..
So has the complexity of the BMW battery set up made life better for me? Factor in not being able to open boot as the battery was dead thus meaning that removing the cover which requires the lifting of the spare wheel cover is a job for houdini. Factor in being faced with the scariest looking (red!!) thing I’ve ever seen attached to a battery with the exception of a small bomb and factor in that I had to resort to youtube for a tutorial and I think you have the answer. I am also vaguely aware that I haven’t put the damn thing back in yet!